


Truth (it's all that mattered)

by Dr3amingInColour, RaRaRaenbow



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Italian GP, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12205053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr3amingInColour/pseuds/Dr3amingInColour, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaRaRaenbow/pseuds/RaRaRaenbow
Summary: One drunken night, two F1 drivers, and a lot of running from the truth.





	Truth (it's all that mattered)

It was a dark and dull afternoon in the Monza paddock, rain clouds coating the skies above. Qualifying was delayed, nobody knew whether it would even take place. The fans were slowly leaving, something had to give eventually.

Whilst everyone was most likely focusing on the qualifying, if it would ever happen, Esteban found his thoughts wandering elsewhere. To the dark eyes that teased him a few nights prior, the same pair he woke up facing after a night of pure bliss. To the sweet voice that night, moans of pleasure escaping their lips.

Esteban knew exactly who they were, for he had been crushing on them for the majority of the year. Waking up naked in the same bed as them wasn’t the plan after Belgium, but to Esteban’s relief, their friendship wasn’t ruined. That’s when it sunk in. He loved Lance Stroll. His competitor, the Williams driver, the son of a multi-millionaire.

The tap on his shoulder snapped Esteban out of his trance, notifying him that qualifying would start in a mere 10 minutes. He pushed all thoughts of Lance to the back of his mind for the time being, knowing damn well they'd come back later, once qualifying was done. But for now, he had to qualify, make the team proud, make the viewers proud.

And although he wouldn't admit it, he wanted to make Lance proud.

\---

“4th fastest in qualifying Lance, that's P2 on the grid! Youngest front row starter ever!” Lance’s race engineer yelled over the team radio, not quite believing what he witnessed from the Canadian.

He could feel the emotions bubbling inside of him as he fought to keep his voice level, but let them spill out as he expressed his excitement and gratitude to the team.

“Thank you guys, hard work paid off then! Can’t believe it!”

His face broke into a grin behind the cover of his helmet and he allowed himself a brief moment to wonder about how a certain Frenchman, that he was perhaps a little too fond of, had gotten on and where he too had qualified.

As he pulled up in parc ferme, all other thoughts bar his own excitement left his mind as he struggled to get out of the car as quickly as he could safely manage before running to meet his waiting team.

It was only when his eyes locked with those of said Frenchman, that his mind went blank. He could see Esteban approaching him, but felt like he'd lost control of his body - he couldn't move, but at the same time felt himself being drawn to the man and unable to resist his almost magnetic pull.  
By the time Esteban was standing directly in front of him, Lance already felt like he'd frozen in time. However, Esteban's hand stretching out and grasping his shoulder soon broke him out of his trance.   
  
"Awesome job today, Lance, you really did an amazing job out there today!"   
  
Lance felt the corners of his mouth start to lift up on their own accord before becoming a full-blown beam due to the praise.   
  
"Thanks buddy, you really smashed it out there too! I heard you're P3 on the grid now? That's amazing, man".   
  
Esteban grinned back at him and swung his arm over Lance's shoulders as they began to walk together, before tilting his head to the side and quietly saying with a smirk, just out of earshot of anyone other than the boy beside him, "You better watch your back tomorrow or  you'll find me breathing down your neck sooner than you think."   
  
The Canadian's face flushed at the statement and he couldn't bring himself to form a coherent sentence as he stumbled over his words, much to the amusement of Esteban. The Frenchman clapped him on the shoulder again and shot him another devious smirk before sauntering off as if he hadn't just rendered Lance completely speechless.

It was only once a bit of distance had built up between them again that Lance regained the ability to formulate his thoughts and stared off after Esteban. He let himself smirk cheekily as he walked off after him. He'd be damned if he let Esteban get the last say like that.

He took to chasing Esteban right back to his motorhome, but before he could take any steps inside, or even insert the key, Lance intervened. He pinned Esteban’s wrist against the white of the motorhome, before using his other hand to push his other shoulder against the home.

The atmosphere tensed at that moment, all to be heard was Lance’s heavy breathing and the falling raindrops, everything else faded away. All Esteban could do was stare deeper into Lance’s eyes, the deep brown captivating him. Lance tilted his head and raised one eyebrow, questioning whether he could make a move.

This moment was what Esteban had dreamt of all year, ever since he first met Lance, it was pure bliss. His lips curved into a small smile, a little giggle escaping his lips, because yes, he really did want to kiss Lance. He stared up into Lance’s deep brown eyes and saw the lashes batting downwards before closing briefly. He felt Lance’s body leaning in closer, and Esteban instantly wanted more contact. His arms snaked around Lance’s waist almost instantly, and Lance let out a gratified hum, satisfied by the contact. At that moment, more rain started to fall, but neither moved from the tight embrace, instead just staring into each other’s eyes, blocking out the rest of the world.

“They always say kisses in the rain are the most romantic kind, how about we test that out?”

A strangled sound escaped Esteban’s lips as the words were said by Lance, each one teasing him more. He couldn’t stand not having what he wanted for much longer, so placed his hand on the back of Lance’s neck, gently dragging him in for a kiss. Lance’s lips were soft against his own, hesitantly kissing Esteban against the side of the motorhome. The rain made the atmosphere more sensual, and Esteban definitely agreed, kisses in the rain were the best kind. But before things could go any further, Lance pulled away.

“As much as I’d like things to go further, it’s getting really rainy and cold out here! It’s best we move it inside, preferably to the bedroom.”

A wink was added to the end, and within seconds Esteban was in his motorhome, Lance in tow. He was most definitely excited for what the rest of the evening would hold.

\---

Waking up to brown eyes and a small smile, Esteban was transported back to the night after Belgium. His heart began to beat double, afraid the same would happen as before. But arms laced around his waist, pulling him closer, and Esteban knew this wasn’t a mistake from either side.

“Morning beautiful.” were the words uttered from beside him, and the sight was truly gorgeous. Lance was sprawled over the bed sheets, a duvet only covering his lower abdomen and legs. His tanned and toned chest was on full display, and Esteban was definitely impressed. He didn’t realise he was staring until Lance slowly kissed him, snapping him back to reality.

“You’re not bad yourself, Stroll.” Esteban teased back, adding a wink that left Lance more than flustered, his cheeks Ferrari red.

“But you know I’m better on the track and off it.” Lance playfully replied, before grabbing his Williams gear to change into. He gave Esteban a bit of a show whilst changing, taking too much time to put on jeans, a polo shirt, and a team jacket. Esteban couldn’t look away, no matter how hard he tried, which left blood flowing south. That was a problem he could deal with once alone.

“We’ll settle that this afternoon, Lance. I think you have to go back to Williams though” Esteban sadly sighed, facing up to the truth, Lance wouldn’t be with him for the pre-race preparations.

“I do. By Este!” Lance cheered, before trying to walk out the motorhome. “Fuck, I can’t walk! I can’t believe you fucked me so hard I can’t bloody walk, Ocon!”

“That’s what you get for looking irresistible, Stroll.”

\---

“Bonjour touts le monde, hello everybody, it's Sunday morning and I'm live before the race!” Esteban sleepily cheered before the camera, whilst the masses of viewers tuned into the broadcast. Already noting the nationalities of some viewers, he decided to say hello to some countries.

“Hello to the UK, hello and bonjour Canada, bonjour France, hola España, ciao Italia, olá Brasil, hello everybody, got a lot of nationalities tuned in today! If you've got any questions for me before the race then do ask!”

One by one the comments all started piling in, asking the same thing. At first, he believed it to be a joke, like some fans normally do, but once the majority only read that comment, his face paled significantly and his smile faded. The words stared back at him, almost taunting him.

_Are you and Lance Stroll a couple?_

He composed himself for the answer the media wanted, that they were by no means together, and only friends off the circuit.

“I can confirm we are only friends, I don't see why you think we are more. Lance is a great guy but I'm not even interested in him. My interest is only in girls. Guys just aren't my style”

He was lying through his teeth and felt a bit guilty about it, but how could he ever announce the truth? That he was in love with another man? Another driver? Lance Stroll? He felt like he couldn't and keeping it inside seemed like an easier option than announcing the truth in front of everyone. Even his family had no idea, they thought he was still dating Alice, how was he meant to tell them he was dating another man, his competitor in the sport no less?

“If that’s all you wanted to know then I’ll stop the live stream now. And I’ll see you guys after the race, which I’ll hopefully win!” Esteban continued with an uneasy smile, curious as to why everyone was asking about why he and Lance were together.

That’s when the realisation hit. They were in public. And paparazzi must’ve caught them.

_He felt his heart plummet at the thought and his mouth suddenly felt very dry. They couldn't have seen him, no, he must be jumping to conclusions. But as he sat there for what felt like an eternity, he realised there couldn't possibly be any other conclusion._

_They'd been caught. And would likely be heavily scrutinised._

Suddenly the thought of being with the man he loves didn't seem like such a good idea.  
  
\--- 

Lance was nervously pacing around the paddock, trying to remain out of the sight of cameras as best as possible. He'd just had several people shout out to him about his supposed "secret relationship with Ocon" and other similar theories, so he assumed, and was almost certain, that Esteban had experienced the same thing. The two hadn't had time to discuss a lot in the morning, much less the state of their relationship now, so Lance wasn't sure how Esteban would react to this. He personally didn't care what the paparazzi thought or even the rest of the team and his competitors, but he did care about Esteban and didn't want him to be uncomfortable. So there he was, pacing around, trying to figure out where the Frenchman would go so he could find him and talk this out. He looked everywhere but to no avail.

In the end, the only opportunity he got to talk to the Frenchman was in the toilets, right before the race. It was inconvenient, but it was now or never for Lance. He had to talk to him, to discuss his and Esteban’s problems together.

\---

He walked dejectedly into the toilets, having searched for the other for most of the morning, but halted quickly when he turned the corner, going into them.  
  
There stood Esteban, both hands on either side of a sink as he leaned over it, heavily breathing and trying to compose himself. His head turned up to meet the gaze of the Canadian and it was like time had frozen around them. As if they were the only people in the world right now and were locked onto each other like they each had their own gravitational pull that was trying to drag the other in.  
  
Lance tentatively took a step forward, not wanting to scare Esteban off. The last thing he wanted was to drive him away or have him panicking right before the start of a race - that wouldn't end well for anyone.  
  
"Esteban?"  
  
The Frenchman stared back down at his shaking hands as he refused to keep eye contact any longer with Lance. It would only make this all harder.  
  
Esteban choked out a forced laugh before his face fell and he muttered, "They got you too?"  
  
Lance felt his heart drop as he felt his fear was confirmed. Esteban regretted what had happened between them. He didn't care what anyone else thought about them or how it affected their careers, but if the most important person to him wished that he could take back the best thing to ever happen to Lance, well, he didn't know what to think or do.  
  
"Look, Esteban-"  
  
"Lance, I'm so sorry!"  
  
Esteban had let go of the sink and stood straight to turn and face Lance.

"This is all my fault, I've got us both stuck in this situation and I'm sorry. I've probably screwed everything up for you too and- oh God, what have I done?" Esteban rambled.  
  
For a few seconds, Lance stood there in silence, confused by why Esteban would blame himself and struggling to wrap his head around it before he finally spoke.  
  
"What on earth are you talking about? How is any of this your fault?"  
  
"I-I- but I kissed you first."  
  
Lance let out a small laugh. "Mate, I literally pinned you up against the motorhome! I think we both have to accept joint responsibility here."  
  
He could feel himself begin to trail off before he even began speaking again.  
  
"Look, I know you probably regret what happened between us and want to take it back and if you do, then I'll completely respect that and I'll play it off as nothing to the cameras if that's what you want to do. I didn't answer any of their questions, so you can decide what it is you want us to tell them, but," Lance hesitated for a moment before slowly continuing, "I want you to know that I don't regret what we did at all. Not in the slightest. I'd do it over and over again if I could, so please don't blame yourself for one of the best moments of my life."

He turned his head down as could feel his face heating up from putting himself out there like that and from the cheesiness of what he'd just said, but he'd gotten across all that he'd wanted to say and could be happy with that at least.

  
Esteban stared back, unmoving and at a loss for words. He couldn't understand why Lance wasn't angry at the situation. Hell, he couldn't understand why Lance wasn't angry at him. He'd likely just ruined both of their futures, he thought to himself. He'd be annoyed to say the least if he were Lance.   
  
Lance dared a quick glance up, only to be met with Esteban's dumbstruck expression.   
  
"Esteban, say something." The Canadian pushed gently, but with an underlying sense of urgency. "I need to know what you're thinking."   
  
The other stumbled over his words as he tried to articulate his thoughts. A series of mumbles and slurred words came out of his mouth before he settled on a proper question.   
  
"Why are you so calm?"   
  
A slight shrug of the shoulders answered this, followed by Lance explaining, "I don't know, I guess I just don't have an issue with people knowing about my relationships. I've never had an issue with it before and I don't now. People can think whatever they want to think, I'm not going to let them make decisions for me or make me live my life any differently. So if they want to gossip about me kissing you then they can go right ahead." He then quickly added, "But of course if you're not happy with it then I wouldn't want them to say anything! I just want you to be happy."   
  
A sad smile flickered across Esteban's face as he lowered his face and wondered about what could've been.   
  
"I wish I had that attitude too. It would make all this so much easier." 

It took a few moments for Lance to register what Esteban actually meant, but when he did his expression started cracking to show a hopeful smile as he felt himself get more and more excited.  
  
"So does this mean you don't regret it? What happened between us?" Lance dared to ask, not even allowing himself a moment to think about if the other did want to turn back time.

“I don't regret any of it.”

\---

Esteban quickly made his way to the grid, having found a confidence boost after his talk with Lance, but also a nagging feeling of apprehension for what was to come after this race. He was usually quite keen to get out of the car after an exhausting race, but this one he wasn't entirely sure about. Of course he loved Lance and wanted to be open about their relationship to everyone, but he couldn't help the fear and dread that took over him at the thought of the world scrutinising them and having all eyes on the two of them.  
  
No, Esteban thought to himself. He can't allow himself to think like that. Not now.   
  
He weaved around the crowd gathered on the grid as he made his way to his car up at the top end in the position marked for third, letting his mind wander as he walked.   
  
He immediately thought of Lance and their talk in that bathroom no more than half an hour ago. It seemed like so long ago, but all passing time today seemed to be in slow motion for Esteban - the end of this day couldn't come quick enough. A smile appeared on his face as he remembered the words the Canadian had spoken to him earlier.   
  
\---

"Nothing else matters anymore now, can't you see?"  
  
Lance was almost bouncing, Esteban thought, with the excitement coursing through him at that moment.  
  
"If you don't regret what happened and want to be open about us then the only thing holding you back is yourself." Lance reasoned.  
  
Esteban sighed. He knew the younger man was right, but the truth was that he was scared and didn't know if he was ready to announce something important and incredibly personal like this to the world or not.  
  
"You're right, Lance, I know, but I'm just not sure if-"  
  
Lance cut him off by grabbing both of the Frenchman's hands in his own and giving them a comforting squeeze, before speaking.  
  
"It's fine, Este, don't worry. I got carried away there. If you don't feel completely comfortable with saying, then we don't have to say anything at all. I'll still be here for you every step of the way and we can tell the press it was all a misunderstanding and give them a story later, okay?" Lance took a moment to step back from his new lover, rested his hands on Esteban's shoulders and looked up at his face. "All I want you to focus on now is the race. Any other worries come after, alright?"  
  
He quickly moved to gently hold Esteban's face before planting a soft, loving kiss on his lips and pulling back.  
  
"A kiss." He stated. "For good luck. Not that you'd normally need it, but you're starting behind me today, so of course you will." He added cheekily. He went to turn away, but Esteban's hand flew out and grabbed his wrist, momentarily stopping and surprising him.

"I know this is kind of sudden," he started, making sure that he had Lance's full attention, "but I wanted to make sure that you knew that I regret passing that night off as nothing."  
  
Neither needed any clarification to know when exactly he was talking about or if the other understood. They knew. There was only one thing he could mean.  
  
"That night did mean something to me and I was just too scared to admit that, so I'm sorry."  
  
Lance turned fully to face Esteban before throwing his arms around him and hugging him, resting his head below Esteban's chin.  
  
"I'm sorry too," Lance admitted, "I did exactly the same thing for the same reason. I don't regret that night at all, except for how we handled it."  
  
The two separated, looked each other in the eyes and could feel the last remaining bit of tension between them lifting after placing all their thoughts in the open before one another.  
  
"Shit, look at the time!" Lance exclaimed suddenly, interrupting their moment.  
  
He turned away, throwing a cheeky wink over his shoulder and beaming at Esteban's wide smile in response.  
  
"I'll see you out on the track!" The Canadian called out as he hurried out of the bathroom, likely on his way to the grid, leaving a slightly stunned and somehow happier Frenchman in his wake.  
  
Esteban nodded his head to himself.  He could do this. They could both do this.  
  
\---

He found himself standing in front of his pink Force India car when he snapped out of his daydream and went through the process of talking over strategies and plans for the race with his team members. Although admittedly, his thoughts weren't solely on the task at hand.  
  
A certain portion of his thought process was now focusing on the Williams driver just one place further up the grid than him. His eyes kept darting out to look for him at any available opportunity, including once they'd made their way to the very front of the grid for the national anthem. He continued to keep an eye on the other even when they were getting strapped into their cars and he could barely see him anymore.  
  
Forcing his gaze away, Esteban started to let his mind drift again as he waited impatiently for the warmup lap.  
  
This time, however, he allowed himself to think vividly back to what he previously banned himself from recalling in the slightest detail.   
  
The event that started this whole mess.  
  
That drunken night.  
  
\---

Neither man knew exactly how they had ended up there, but both of them had drunk far too much and had somehow fallen into Lance's bed together after a night of dancing together and grinding against one another to the beat of the music in the club they were in. At least, it had seemed like a club. Any memories of it were all at least a little clouded over, if not significantly so.  
  
Esteban pushed Lance down onto his bed and climbed up, crawling over him until they were facing one another, before allowing their lips to connect for the first time. It wasn't flawless like some would have you believe a first kiss should be like - their teeth clacked occasionally, noses bumped and there was a flurry of two tongues everywhere - but it was magical for them in its own way.  
  
Lance let out a muffled moan as a tongue slipped into his mouth at the same time as a coordinated thrust from Esteban's hips had his own bucking up, desperate for more contact, for anything and everything Esteban would give him.  
  
The Frenchman released a breathy sigh as he ground his hips down to meet Lance's, making both of them desperate for more. His hand tugged at the bottom of the Canadian's shirt, allowing him to lean forward before quickly removing it and having the same done to himself, leaving them both bare-chested and free to explore each other's bodies.  
  
Lips immediately reconnected as hands began to roam over the new expanse of bare skin on each of them, encouraging them onwards. Both feeling impatient and not wanting to draw this out, they acted quickly when Esteban fingers teased at the top of Lance's jeans, taking them off and throwing them aside, leaving Lance in nothing but his boxers.  
  
Fingers teased over the growing bulge in the area and Lance let a breathy moan escape with mutters of the word "more" as he closed his eyes and turned his head to the side. Esteban gently turned his face back towards him and kissed him to get a response out of the overwhelmed Canadian. Lance eagerly returned the kiss and began to reach for the belt on Esteban's jeans, struggling to undo it without breaking their kiss. They separated to let Lance undo the belt and drag the jeans down, but before Esteban could reconnect their lips, Lance had pushed him down onto the bed and had his mouth already ghosting above Esteban's bulge, the only thing separating them from skin on skin contact being a thin layer of fabric.  
  
Esteban couldn't hold back the whimpers that slipped from his mouth at the slight contact. He wanted nothing more than to feel Lance's lips wrapped around his length, but he felt that neither of them would last long and needed to finish quickly.  
  
He pushed Lance back and explained briefly, struggling to form a coherent sentence (through both the pleasure and alcohol), "We're not going to last long, I just want us to actually fuck tonight if that's okay with you?"  
  
Lance nodded eagerly and began pulling his boxers down, ready to prepare himself. He reached for the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube, ready to use it to open himself, but Esteban took it off him before he could.  
  
"Let me." He insisted  
  
The lube was poured out onto his fingers, making sure they were thoroughly coated before he began to run a finger around the outside of Lance's hole, teasing him a bit.  
  
"Stop teasing and put it in," Lance demanded as he felt himself getting more and more worked up. Esteban obliged and gently slid one finger inside, giving Lance a moment to adjust before slowly moving it in and out. When the Canadian showed no signs of discomfort, Esteban cautiously began to slip in a second finger. Lance let out a hiss at the intrusion but willed himself to relax until he was soon able to take it with no pain. Esteban moved his fingers in and out in a slow thrusting motion before beginning to scissor them and open his lover up.  
  
The moans spilling from Lance's lips sounded like they were something straight out of a porn video, Esteban thought, as he leaned back and appreciated the debauched state of the man in front of him as he begged for another finger to be added. This was accommodated and soon Lance struggled to even formulate a sentence, since all that spilled from his lips were moans and short words of encouragement as his prostate was teased, but not quite touched.  
  
Esteban decided to have mercy on him and removed his fingers before reaching for a condom on the bedside table. Removing his boxers and slipping the condom onto his length, he then slicked it up with a small volume of lube before resting the tip at Lance's entrance. Lance began begging and thrusting his hips blindly, desperate for contact and that feeling of fullness.  
  
Esteban slid his member into him slowly, both of them releasing heavy moans before Esteban started to pick up the pace after Lance had adjusted. He began to fuck the Canadian into the bed as moan after moan spilled from his mouth. They could both feel a sense of desperation beginning to take over them until Esteban angled a thrust in just the right way to hit his prostate, then that feeling took over.  
  
Lance began screaming out for more as Esteban angled each thrust to hit the same spot each time and both could feel their releases quickly approaching. Esteban continued to pound into Lance, feeling scratch marks being formed on his back as the other dug his nails into it in desperation as the feelings of pleasure and impending release took over.  
  
After another couple of thrusts, Lance came between their stomachs and collapsed back onto the bed as Esteban found his own release and lay exhausted on top of him. No words were said between them and none were needed.  
  
They remained there for a while, before Esteban carefully slid out of Lance as the other winced slightly, before throwing away the used condom and getting a tissue to clean Lance and himself up. Once done, he crawled into bed with his lover and they curled up together, blissfully unaware of how they would react in the morning, but equally unaware of what else this one night would lead to.

\---  
  
Esteban shook his head and awoke from his daze, remembering where he was - on the grid just as the warm-up lap was starting. He cursed himself for making himself feel so hot and bothered before the race had even started, but allowed himself a smile at the same time. Maybe that night wasn't as bad a mistake as originally thought.

\---

Esteban couldn’t believe it, he had finished 6th, he was the best after the Red Bull, Ferrari, and Mercedes pack. And to have Lance one place behind in 7th, that made it all the more special.

He could still feel Lance’s kisses on his neck and lips, reminding him of the night before. And the more he thought about this, the more he felt guilty for lying to the press. He was proud of their relationship, so why should he have to lie? He was happy and in love, that was all that mattered to him.

Deciding to act upon this, and what Lance said to him, Esteban wandered over to Lance in parc ferme, giving the Canadian a hand getting out his car. The pair waited for everyone else to clear from their area in the paddock, before removing their helmets, balaclavas and HANS devices. That meant they were alone in parc ferme, all journalists having their eyes on the duo.

“Am I allowed to say something quickly?” Esteban queried, mostly to Lance but directed at the journalists as well. All eyes and cameras were on them, and Esteban knew he couldn’t back down, it just wasn’t possible.

“Well, this morning I told you all the biggest lie of my life, and I’m not happy with the way I handled things. I should have just been honest, save myself the trouble of having to do this. But I wasn’t honest, and that’s why I’m here, standing beside the man I love very much, telling you I do love him. I’ve loved Lance since he first signed for Williams, I knew there was something special about him. He makes me so happy, and I can’t hide it anymore.”

The audience of fans and media started applauding over this little speech. People supporting all teams, of all nationalities, they all supported Esteban, and that was all he ever wanted.

“Je t’aime tellement, Lance.”

And with that, Esteban reached over and rested a hand on Lance’s cheek, before gently kissing his lips. The photographs were taken, but to Esteban and Lance, they didn’t matter. They had each other, and that was all that mattered.

 


End file.
